Trying not to reply

 Trying not to reply to Yahoo comments. Was doing better, then Facebook took Farm Town down again, and nothing to do, all day to do it. I suppose I could do some housework or continuing cleaning out my FB history. OY, I cleaned out my Blogger blogs, only to come back again. And again. 

So, anyway, I went away from the black/white Jesus article. Showered, cooked squash, ate squash while looking for the comment I wanted to share. Took me back in time.

My Story

I wondered why I was attracted to long shaggy dark haired hippie guys with mustaches and beards.  They did not look like my father, older brothers, or even uncles. Aha moment.

I used to stare at the mural painted on ceiling, wall over the altar every Sunday. Every holy day of Obligation, Every 7 day Novena. Well, not that would have been walking around the church stopping at stained glass windows to pray the rosary. Every Catholic funeral.

I loved Jesus! I wanted to marry him, ie: become a nun when I grew up. 

That idea went out the window when I started reading the Bible, finding descriptions from what I was taught and what the catechism the nuns tested us on, & priests taught.

When a sister and later brother asked me to be Godmother for their new baby girl and baby boy, I wanted to say no. I was still going to church, but I no longer believed. I felt a hypocrite, because I was too timid to say no. 

I did, however, know that should the sis die, I would be sure the daughter was raised Catholic. The brother's wife did not want me, but he insisted. Those babies long grown up and I no longer give them birthday/Christmas $$$ gifts as my godparents had given me.