Saturday, November 5, 2022

CHOICE

Dear KahteenG and the rest like you,

Operative word is choice.

I admire the woman who raised her twin daughters ~ two heads in one body. I admire they grew up to become teachers. Grosses me out. Two distrubing to be in a classroom with two headed teacher. Did they teach the same subjects? Take turns talking? Or did one stay silent in the other's classes? I admire parents that raised a baby born with no limbs. She grew up to become a psychiatrist. She could do most things without help except for getting out of bed. (I suppose the same would be for bathing, she used pen-like thing held in her mouth to operate wheel chair, and other things. She did not gross me out. I thought her too heavy for me to pick up, so declined the job. I admire parents who raise disabled babies and children. They did not have such testing when I was pregnant. I worried the entire 9 months, during the first one, wondering if my baby would be born healthy. I do not remember worrying so much with the other two. Maybe I had more pressing problems than to spend worrying about my future newborn's health. All three were healthy.

I do not know that I had it in me to raise a baby with 1/2 a brain or 1/2 a lung or no limbs. Who would have paid for the multiple operations needed to keep a baby with defective heart alive? Not my husband for sure, he barely provided for his wife, one, two, three children. St. Jude's Children's Hospital?

KathleenG, the others like her, the Rigid Religious Right, the pastors, ministers, priests, politicians are not offering to take in the disabled babies. Nor are they offering financial aid to the parents. How many carseats do today's families need to buy. Three different sizes? I would never have been able to afford them when my babies were born.

CHOICE! Let the mother have choice. Liberty. She knows she is unable to care for, to afford extra medical expenses, what do these forced birth people advice? Give the defective infant up for adoption? Good luck with that.

Most parents wishing to adopt want infants, healthy infants. Used to be healthy white babies. Black boy babies were the least adopted. Some will settle for adopting older toddlers; the older the child becomes the less likely they are to become adopted.

In order to adopt an infant that requires multiple surgeries, the future parents need to have enough money. And enough time for caregiving or to pay for quality round the clock caregivers.

KathleenG's friend was to have been born dead, but was just "developmentally ill." (I think she meant disabled?.) 67 years ago the friend's mother would have had no choice but to give birth. Her Mother might have loved the baby unconditionally. I know mothers of autistic children who have problems loving them unconditionally.

I also know parents who beat their children for minor infractions. Can not imagine them caring for a disabled baby/child/young adult. Some have been arrested after locking disabled children in cages and otherwise abusing them. CHOICE! CHOICE! CHOICE!

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